My corner of fandom, 'tis a lonely place

[feliciakw]

My little corner of fandom, 'tis a lonely place right now.

Dr. Who just wiped clean the memory of one of my favorite characters. It's as if her adventures never happened. I'm sitting here with my chin trembling, my lip quivering, and tears dripping down my face. The Donna we knew, the Donna The Doctor knew, is gone. And the way they left it, they can't bring her back. (Still, this being Dr. Who, anything is possible, right? Right?)

This is on top of the loneliness I've felt today in regards to SPN fandom. It's silly, I know. It's just a TV show.

I've made a choice to try to remain as unspoiled as I can for the upcoming season. The loneliness comes when I realize that everyone I converse with has been spoiled. This in effect negates any and all speculation we might banter about, because anything I say is bound to be wrong, and they know it. I've got no one to talk to about what could happen, because they know what will happen. And anything I speculate will be so off base as to seem misguided and foolish. So what's the point?

I've even thought, well, since the entire cast and crew are yammering away, why then, it doesn't matter if I'm spoiled. Obviously, they want their audience to be spoiled. The buzz and the chatter keep interest up. It's a publicity tool. So there ya go. I've considered hunting down the first 5 minutes of 4.1, simply so I can have something to talk to my correspondents about. But then I think, no, I don't want to see it on my little computer screen, a crummy picture that streams in fits and starts. Even a rough cut deserves better than that. I want to see it for the first time in all its heart pounding glory.

And though my fannish self is crushed by the season finale of Dr. Who, I'm glad I was unspoiled for it. It wouldn't have held the emotional punch if I'd seen it coming.

My little corner of fandom, 'tis a lonely place.

Comments

[leelust.livejournal.com]

OMG! I adore this ep! One of the best of the best in history of tv i think.
I know what you mean - the ep is all about perceptions (and i love it so much) and for me Kripke's initial intention to make Dean total loser means just that he wanted to make him completely different and since our Dean is no loser at all it's logical to assume that 'parallel universe' Dean must be a loser. I think it was his conception. And again i think his team was right to argue with him cos conception or not the world we see in this ep is the world based on Dean viewing of the world around himself and self-perception so i can't be totally different from what we know. I mean people can think of Dean less but Dean with his self-esteem issues still knows about himself that he's good hunter and not so bad brother so he can't change it inside his head. (if it has any sense).
The description of this ep is very difficult cos there's a conflict between Dean's thoughts about self-perception and the way he see the world and jinn's reality based on Dean's thought that not completely right cos entering this reality Dean already knows he's not in the world he used to be. Plus there are Dean's issues with Dad and their family's destiny and issues of 'saving people, hunting things' and why we? Plus i think Dean's constant mention of drinking problem says that he think about too. Plus dead end of Sammy factor - he's good w/o Dean but he's not Sammy we know and love and he cares about his big brother not so much but he wants to be with him on the hunt (i mean there's like a click there - the moment Sam easily think of Dean as thief stealing mom's silver and the moment later he's in the car with him - i know it's cos he feels something not right but for me it's Deans issue with Sam - he wants him to leave w/o him cos Dean believes he's bad for his brother and in the same time he wants Sam to be with him cos he's family and he loves him).
I know i digress from Kripke's theme but on Kripke's front we already agree in main question and this ep is just so perfect to talk about and so complex and full of many interesting questions that i can't hepl it and talk and talk, sorry :)

Yeah, less than 2 weeks left and conversations like this make this time bearable, thanx :)