feliciakw: (Dean & Jamie - kiss)
[personal profile] feliciakw
I've been thinking a lot the past day or so about Jensen and Danneel's engagement. The news is particularly touching for me because it comes at a very apropos time. You see, Geo and I will be celebrating our 14th anniversary tomorrow. I write this as I wait for him to get home from his week-long trip to St. Louis.



Obviously, I don't know Jensen or Danneel personally. And the only reason I know of Danneel is via my interest in Jensen. But in reading about them over the years, or more specifically, reading his references to her, and learning that they have been friends for a very long time, and watching the care and circumspection with which they've treated the public aspect of their relationship, I feel a particular . . . something . . . for this relationship. Jensen especially seems to be one who does not take marriage lightly, like he will do everything within his power to take care of his wife. If I knew them personally, I would offer them my warmest wishes and offer a few words.

Love each other. Stand by each other. Protect each other. Accept each other. Laugh together.

I would offer them what is commonly called the "love chapter," I Corinthians 13. I would offer them Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (one of my favorite passages, in reference to both friendship and marriage). I would suggest they invite God to be the third strand.

I'd like to offer them something from Song of Solomon as well, 'cause, you know, there's nothing like ancient Middle Eastern erotic love poetry. But that might be a little awkward. *eg* (Though when I'm a Scripture reader for a wedding, I love telling the bride that's what I'm going to choose.)

I would remind Danneel that, in her love for Jensen, she needs to remember that she has been given a special feminine influence over her husband. I would tell her to be careful of how she exercises that influence, and to always respect him, for the respect of his wife is one of a man's most basic needs.

I would remind Jensen that Danneel, his wife, is a woman, and as such, has a piece inside her that needs his attentive love. Respect her, of course; she is your partner in this life's adventure. But never forget to express your love, in little ways she will understand, for the love of her husband is one of a woman's most basic needs.

And if we had time, as if chatting with friends over dinner, I might share with them how Geo's and my own romance came to be, how it flies in the face of any "traditional" conventions or expectations that "romance" might imply. How Geo's natural inclination was not to be the "tradtionally" romantic type. But how he has done things for me that speak more of his love than the most grandiose gesture.

And should Danneel ask me why I married George, I would tell her, "Two reasons. One: He doesn't expect me to be something I'm not. And two: He makes me laugh."

Friendship is such an important part of marriage. If it doesn't come before the wedding, it must surely come after. Jensen and Danneel have been friends for many years. They seem comfortable and at ease with each other, not just as boyfriend and girlfriend, but as friends and companions. For them, I offer . . .

The Worn Wedding Ring

Your wedding ring wears thin dear wife; ah, summers not a few,
Since I put it on your finger first, have passed o'er me and you;
And, love, what changes we have seen--what cares and pleasures, too,
Since you became my own dear wife, when this old ring was new!

O, blessings on that happy day, the happiest of my life,
When, thanks to God, your low, sweet, "Yes" made you my loving wife!
Your heart will say the same, I know; that day's as dear to you,
That day that made me yours, dear wife, when this old ring was new.

How well do I remember now your young sweet face that day!
How fair you were, how dear you were, my tongue could hardly say;
Nor how I doted on you; Oh, how proud I was of you!
But did I love you more than now, when this old ring was new?

No--no! no fairer were you then than at this hour to me;
And, dear as life to me this day, how could you dearer be?
As sweet your face might be that day as now it is, 't is true;
But did I know your heart as well when this old ring was new?

~~William C. Bennett
(as reprinted in A Bride's Bouquet: A Celebration of Marriage in Prose and Poetry, compiled by Gail Harvey)

Enjoy these exciting days, Jensen and Danneel, the excitement of the engagement, the preparations for the wedding. May it be a beautiful ceremony. But more importantly, may you have a beautiful life together, whatever it might hold.

Date: 2009-11-10 10:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mtee.livejournal.com
That was very sweet and true. My Mike and I had our 25th in May. He and I are opposites, but that is what is special. He is my strength, my boost, my coach who tells me to forget my fears and go for it! I am his laughter, his voice that whispers, don't take things too seriously! Together we made 2 wonderful children and gave them a set of parents that argue, but never say spiteful things, who laugh and still love to do things together. Even if it's just going to get a burger on Saturdays.

I would wish them many children and to show them what love and commitment is about. That is the most important... when they take their vows I hope they both realize how important they are and realize that marriage requires work and commitment!

But then I was blessed as my parents celebrated their 63rd this year! Our children learn from example.

I can always tell from your writings that your Geo is so important to you and you both enjoy being together!

Date: 2009-11-11 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feliciakw.livejournal.com
Muy congrats on the 25 years! Silver anniversary, if I'm not mistaken.

Yes, yes. Like any relationship, there will be difficult times that will require perseverance and commitment. It seems like Jensen has good role models in that regard. At least, as I understand it.

Should they be blessed with children, I wish them all love and happiness. And if, for some reason beyond their control children do not become part of their family, may they be blessed in other ways.

George is back now, and it's good to have him back. I think we'll relax with last week's SPN tonight.

Thank you. :-)

Date: 2009-11-11 12:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kimmer1227.livejournal.com
Good stuff. Words to live by.

My only advice to Jensen would be to always remember to put the toilet seat lid down. Important stuff...



Date: 2009-11-11 12:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feliciakw.livejournal.com
That comes with the showing her he loves her in little ways she'll understand. Ha!

Date: 2009-11-11 01:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ficwriter1966.livejournal.com
Congrats to you and Geo on your anniversary!

Date: 2009-11-11 11:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feliciakw.livejournal.com
Thank you! But how can it possibly be 14 years?

Date: 2009-11-11 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leelust.livejournal.com
Oh, beautifully worded!

Date: 2009-11-11 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feliciakw.livejournal.com
Thank you. :-) Sometimes my heart and mind are so full, it's hard to put it all in words.

Date: 2009-11-11 11:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] just-ruth.livejournal.com
*toasts* like you said on my final anniversary - this stuff isn't fairy tales, it's real.

Which is why Daneel should take a tip from the President and start wearing designs that can hide a bullet-proof vest; because there are a lot of very disturbed people that do not want it to be real.

Date: 2009-11-11 12:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feliciakw.livejournal.com
*toasts* Thank you. You know, sometimes I look back at what I wrote when I was a teenager about what I wanted in a romance, and it pales in comparison to reality. Sure, fairy tales are fun, but reality can be so much better (and more fun).

Perhaps there's a way to weave Kevlar into her clothing? A designer who could make a bulletproof evening gown could make a (bigger) fortune.

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