feliciakw: (Bunqui)
Unless you are A) helping pay my mortgage, or B) invited into my home, you are not welcome in said home.

This includes but is not limited to the Giant Evil Crickets from Outer Space, the snakes--particularly you copperheads--and the mice, of which some of you have already fallen to the awesome prowess of the Great Calico Huntress *points to icon*. I do not want you in my basement. I most certainly do not want you in my living space. And I certainly don't care if the extremely wet and rainy spring we've had is forcing you to seek drier shelter. You are not welcome!

If you choose to invade my home--for which you are not paying the mortgage, I might add--you will be dispatched with all possible haste. Oh, I might not be the one doing the actual dispatching, but your days will be numbered. This I promise you. *shakes fist*

Exterminatingly yours,
Me
feliciakw: (Trouble=Dean)
When sprinkling the carpet with carpet freshener, remember that it is carpet freshener, not salt. Yes, it's going through the motions, like every other time you've salted the doors and windows, but:

1) Carpet freshener will not deter the undead. It will only help cover the stench.

2) Sprinkling carpet freshener on you window sills is just weird. But hey, it will cover the undead stench when they crawl through the window.

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feliciakw

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