we say we want not to be judged, would love to have firm boundaries,
Yep, this is a succinct way of putting it. Do we want judgement? No. Do we want boundaries? Yes (even if we don't know we want them).
I don't agree with Osiris that "people want to be judged." People don't want to be judged, by human nature. There are those who feel they deserve to be judged (Dean fits squarely in that category), and in that regard, that feeling might progress toward "wanting." But the reason people balk at the thought of being judged is that they don't like it. They don't want it. "Judge not, lest ye be judged." There're two sides to that statement (at least), and neither side wants to be judged. It's human nature to want to do whatever we want to do without consequence.
Boundaries, otoh, yes. Human nature needs boundaries, otherwise, there is chaos. We need--even want--boundaries, but we don't want judgment for breaking those boundaries.
But the two go hand in hand. Because without consequences for breaking the boundaries, the boundaries mean nothing.
The question then becomes: What are the boundaries, and what are the consequences for breaking them? Sometimes we put up boundaries where there need be none, then feel we deserve judgment for breaking them, and sometimes we fail to recognize boundaries that need to be there (or recognize the boundaries and brazenly break them anyway), and don't think we should be judged when we break them.
It's a paradox, no?
This is why I didn't get into it in the review. :-) It's rather a multifaceted topic. Food for thought, indeed.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2012-01-04 05:34 pm (UTC)we say we want not to be judged, would love to have firm boundaries,
Yep, this is a succinct way of putting it. Do we want judgement? No. Do we want boundaries? Yes (even if we don't know we want them).
I don't agree with Osiris that "people want to be judged." People don't want to be judged, by human nature. There are those who feel they deserve to be judged (Dean fits squarely in that category), and in that regard, that feeling might progress toward "wanting." But the reason people balk at the thought of being judged is that they don't like it. They don't want it. "Judge not, lest ye be judged." There're two sides to that statement (at least), and neither side wants to be judged. It's human nature to want to do whatever we want to do without consequence.
Boundaries, otoh, yes. Human nature needs boundaries, otherwise, there is chaos. We need--even want--boundaries, but we don't want judgment for breaking those boundaries.
But the two go hand in hand. Because without consequences for breaking the boundaries, the boundaries mean nothing.
The question then becomes: What are the boundaries, and what are the consequences for breaking them? Sometimes we put up boundaries where there need be none, then feel we deserve judgment for breaking them, and sometimes we fail to recognize boundaries that need to be there (or recognize the boundaries and brazenly break them anyway), and don't think we should be judged when we break them.
It's a paradox, no?
This is why I didn't get into it in the review. :-) It's rather a multifaceted topic. Food for thought, indeed.
Also: Don quote FTW!