feliciakw: (SPN)
[personal profile] feliciakw
. . . before 5.03 airs.



I've watched the final scene between the boys several times now, and something struck me about Sam's refusal to take the Impala . . . It kinda hurt Dean. Dean makes the offer, starting even before Sam has risen from the table, and when Sam refuses with "That's okay," the look that crosses Dean's face--the pursed lips and the nod--that's one of his disappointed-but-acceptance expressions. Like, that really wasn't the answer he was hoping for, but it's what he's got to work with, so okay, he'll live with it.

This . . . touches me. Had Sam taken the Impala, Dean would have known that Sam had transportation, that he wouldn't have to depend on others, he wouldn't have to hitch, he wouldn't have to walk the byways alone. Dean would have known that Sam had an arsenal at his disposal, and talismans, tools to keep himself safe in this battlefield that their world has become. He would have known that Sam had a home, someplace to sleep at night, a roof of some sort over his head. And Dean would have known that Sam still had a tangible connection to Dean, however tentative.

Also, Sam refused Dean's offer of a gift that means everything to Dean. Dean's most prized possession. Dean offers it readily, willingly, and Sam declines, and Dean's expression is like . . . almost like it's a denial of Dean himself. The one final way that Dean can take care of Sam before they go their separate ways, perhaps never to see each other again (given the circumstances), and Sam declines. Obviously Sam didn't mean it as a refusal of Dean--Sam's caressing the fender as he leaves shows that he's going to miss the Impala and what she stands for. I don't say any of this to make Sam out to be a bad guy. It's just something that struck me.

From a practical standpoint, it makes far more sense for Dean to keep the Impala for all the reasons listed above--transportation, arsenal, self-sufficiency. If Dean is going to continue hunting, but Sam is not, it makes sense that Dean has greater need of the Impala and all it contains. Nor do I think Sam could take the Impala away from Dean, knowing how much it means to him.

Dean let Sam go, but to watch Sam walk away with nothing but the clothes on his back and whatever was in his duffle, watch him climb into a stranger's truck and drive away . . .

That. Hurts.
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feliciakw

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