RE: Sam acknowledging what he did last season . . . I've all but given up on Show ever addressing that to my complete satisfaction. I've often said that it wasn't the apocalypse that Dean was upset about; it was choosing Ruby over Dean. I doubt very much that Show will ever come out and actually have Sam apologize for that. What I was so thrilled with with DSotM and this ep was that Sam actually saw and acknowledged what he's been doing his entire life. And not getting all self-defensive about it but finally saying, "I know I screwed up" and showing Dean that he had faith in him. I'll take it.
RE: the "rot" line . . . I think it was more of an insight into Dean's current state of mind than belittling the necessity of detox. And I'm sure that part of Dean felt that leaving Sam in there by himself while he suffered through detox was akin to "letting him rot." I didn't take it quite as literally as it sounded, I guess.
I've never really seen Bobby as treating the boys differently, being more violent with Dean while coddling Sam. And I can't recall Bobby ever belittling Dean. He has never told him he was no good, or useless, or worthless, or anything like that. Getting up in his face and calling him on his crap? Yeah, sure. That's what people who love each other do--call shinanigans on each other when necessary. And Bobby is a very . . . loud . . . person when he needs to be. And Dean can frustrate him like no one else, apparently, 'cause he feels that strongly about him. Yelling does not denote a lack of love. It's not always the best approach, and it often has to do with the culture or environment you're used to. But yelling in anger and frustration at someone you love--not necessarily a good approach, but sometimes necessary, and real.
Also in this instance, Bobby started out trying to be reasonable. "What happened to you?" He didn't blow his stack until Dean accused him of not knowing what Dean is going through, not being in his shoes, when in fact Bobby makes a conscious decision every freakin' day not to kill himself because he promised Dean he wouldn't.
So, no, I don't think the message is that violence/yelling = love. I see it as the yelling reflects anger and frustration with someone he loves. If he didn't love Dean, he wouldn't care what Dean did. He wouldn't be angry that Dean had given up.
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RE: the "rot" line . . . I think it was more of an insight into Dean's current state of mind than belittling the necessity of detox. And I'm sure that part of Dean felt that leaving Sam in there by himself while he suffered through detox was akin to "letting him rot." I didn't take it quite as literally as it sounded, I guess.
I've never really seen Bobby as treating the boys differently, being more violent with Dean while coddling Sam. And I can't recall Bobby ever belittling Dean. He has never told him he was no good, or useless, or worthless, or anything like that. Getting up in his face and calling him on his crap? Yeah, sure. That's what people who love each other do--call shinanigans on each other when necessary. And Bobby is a very . . . loud . . . person when he needs to be. And Dean can frustrate him like no one else, apparently, 'cause he feels that strongly about him. Yelling does not denote a lack of love. It's not always the best approach, and it often has to do with the culture or environment you're used to. But yelling in anger and frustration at someone you love--not necessarily a good approach, but sometimes necessary, and real.
Also in this instance, Bobby started out trying to be reasonable. "What happened to you?" He didn't blow his stack until Dean accused him of not knowing what Dean is going through, not being in his shoes, when in fact Bobby makes a conscious decision every freakin' day not to kill himself because he promised Dean he wouldn't.
So, no, I don't think the message is that violence/yelling = love. I see it as the yelling reflects anger and frustration with someone he loves. If he didn't love Dean, he wouldn't care what Dean did. He wouldn't be angry that Dean had given up.